Christmas Secret Santa
by sasyst
Summary: Dota fanfic: Two stories for Secret Santa 2019, only one has soemthing to do with Christmas. One is about Timbersaw and one about Terrorblade with Skywrath.
1. Timbersaw

Rizzrack stared up the Christmas tree. He had decorated the lower branches, as always, with baubles, candy canes and lots of tinsel. He had put the stuff as high as he was able to reach while standing on tiptoes. Most of the tree was therefore still bare of decorations.

It wasn't beautiful, Rizzrak thought. His grandma had always insisted they not use any tools or devices as assistance. Their trees had always only been decorated on the lower branches. Rizzrak had hated it but he had never spoken against his grandmother.

This year was the first time he had his own tree, in his own house, and he could do whatever he wanted with it. He frowned at the empty upper half (or more like two-third) of the tree and decided he wouldn't leave it like that.

He climbed into his machine and started it. This way he was tall enough to reach even the tip of the tree. With a grin he took a bauble and put it on the highest branch. He laughed, grabbing bauble after bauble, and candy canes and tinsel. Amazing, to finally be able to do this the way he wanted to.

It was fun! Rizzrak enjoyed being able to decorate his tree however he wanted. And wherever he wanted!

When he was finished, he stepped away to get a better look. The Christmas tree was beautiful, it was perfect! Just the way it should be, just the way he had always imagined and wished it to be.

While he stared, the grin slowly vanished from his face. It was replaced by a frown. Rizzrak didn't know what was wrong, but something about the tree wasn't right. It looked awesome, but it didn't feel like it was supposed to. It didn't feel like home.

Rizzrak climbed out of his machine and stomped out of the room. He had always wanted a completely decorated Christmas tree, the thing would stay as it was.

For three days the tree stood there, taunting him with its perfectness. By the fourth day Rizzrak was barely able to enter the room without getting angry. The tree was like he had always wanted it to be yet it didn't make him happy. So on the fourth day he caved in. Steaming mad he climbed into his machine again and bauble after bauble he removed the decorations. He was attempted to smash them all or to throw the tree out of the window but in the end it would probably make him sad. And he'd have to clean the bauble-chards, which he really didn't want to do.

Once he had put everything away that he had hung with the help of his machine, he stared at the half-empty tree. He sighed. It looked pathetic, such a big tree with such little decoration. But as soon as he had gotten out of his machine, he had to smile. It was the perspective. From down there, when he was standing on his own feet, the tree was still amazing. And then came the feeling of home and Christmas.

He could hear the voice of his grandma in his head, first scolding, then soft and happy, he could even hear her humming while she watched the kids playing underneath the branches.

It had been a nice idea, to have the perfect Christmas tree, but it wasn't the same as their Christmas tree. This one, now, it reminded Rizzrak of family, and that was what mattered on this day. Not the perfect decoration. Or the perfect food. Or whatever. It was about family and warmth and all the good memories one had.


	2. Demon Marauder

It had been ages since Terrorblade had seen Dragonus. He was beautiful, as always. Maybe even more so, since the image of him in the demon's mind had dulled over time. Dragonus spread his wings a little while he hovered over the ground, the feathers creating the tiniest sound, almost inaudible. Then he smiled, this soft smile he had only for the demon. He didn't wear any armour, only a long-sleeved shirt, blue-grey like his eyes, and some comfy looking pants. No shoes, never shoes, his naked feet barely above the ground.

Terrorblade wanted to run to him, to hug him, kiss him and, for fucks sake, touch him. Everything about him would be soft, he could almost feel it against his fingertips. His skin, his hair, the feathers of his wings.

But then it wasn't the demon's right to touch him whenever he wanted. Dragonus was an angel, at least as close as any creature could be, and he was a demon, forever doomed. Dragonus was light and beauty while everything about Terrorblade was darkness.

He had missed him, every damned second since he had last seen him. Until it had hurt, until he hadn't been able to sleep, until he had taken job after job to keep his mind occupied. He had been exhausted, body and mind.

Now Dragonus was there but he was afraid to approach. It wasn't even fear about rejection, it was fear to destroy the smile, the beauty of the angel with the darkness on his hands and in his soul. Terrorblade had never felt worthy to be by his side and he had never understood what the angel saw in him.

That he even had emotions, of any kind, was completely new for the demon. He had never felt anything, had been forever cold inside. But since he had met Dragonus, everything had changed. Now he felt too much, was often overwhelmed by it and didn't know how to handle the flood of emotions racing through his body. Whenever he saw him, there was this longing, not only to be near, but to make the angel happy. To give him all he ever wanted. When he wasn't near, there was this sadness and the urge to do anything to be close to him again. Irrational things, when Terrorblade had never been irrational in his whole life.

But since they were there now, he had to get a grip. Which was easier said than done, when Dragonus' smile got wider and he came closer. The demon's heart beat heavy and he forgot the world around him. There was only the angel in front of him, nothing else. It was a dangerous thing, to tune his surroundings out like that. A demon like him always had to be aware what was going on, but he couldn't bring himself to care. His life was nothing without Dragonus, an empty shell of emotionless existence. It had been fine, but since he had met the angel he had realized what he had been missing. Not everything was good, he hated how fucking much he missed Dragonus and how vulnerable he was concerning him. But the joy he felt when they were together was better than anything he had ever known.

The angel brought the best in Terrorblade out, like now, when he drew closer and the demon smiled, without meaning to. He couldn't not, when Dragonus was so beautiful and so perfect. When the angel felt, it was always evident on his features. Every thought and every emotion. Terrorblade was fascinated by it, especially since he had grown to be the same around Dragonus. Or maybe the angel just knew him enough by now to be able to recognize his thoughts no matter how much he was used to masking them. Maybe it was both, since the demon was grinning by now, his happiness about seeing the angel more than obvious.

It had been too fucking long since they had seen each other and Terrorblade couldn't wait any longer. He moved towards Dragonus, not caring anymore about his darkness compared to the angel's light.

Their first kiss was light, lips pressed against lips, hands barely touching. They parted, not letting go, but looking at each other. They both smiled and Terrorblade was transfixed by the sparkle in Dragonus' light blue-grey eyes, by the joy the angel felt about seeing him, a demon. It was amazing and still so unreal. He didn't understand how this could've happened, how he could be this lucky, to have someone so pure and beautiful.

Their second kiss was more, hands gripping harder, lips moving, tongues touching and teeth getting involved. They pressed close, their bodies touching but still Terrorblade wanted to get closer, to feel more, to have everything. He shoved his hands underneath Dragonus shirt, desperate to feel skin, soft and warm against his fingers, right where they had tingled when he had thought about touching. Dragonus made a sound deep in his throat.

Terrorblade backed away a little. "Everything all right?" He was careful, always, in case the angel was uncomfortable or anything. But he smiled, bright and beautiful.

"I'm so glad to see you. I missed you."

The words were spoken with a matter of course that the demon couldn't process. It was easy for the angel to talk about his feelings, while he always struggled with it. The demon couldn't even name his feelings in his head, much less communicate them to others. It was easier with Dragonus than it was with anyone else, but it wasn't easy at all. And when he heard the angel talking like that, he was torn. He wanted to say the same, because it was so very true, but the words wouldn't leave his mouth.

And then he was at this place again, where he thought he wasn't worthy of such a wonderful and beautiful creature. His personal hell, where he wanted something more than he had every wanted but couldn't have it because he was what he was. He had tried so much to change, to become better, but it was never enough. Every tiny step he made was washed away in the glory of Dragonus.

The angel didn't ask for anything, he never had, not for nice words or open affection or romance or anything. Terrorblade nonetheless had this terrible feeling of not being enough. Nothing he did, nothing he said could ever be enough. He was too dark, too rotten, his soul lost.

He gripped Dragonus tight, their foreheads touching, and closed his eyes. His breath came out with a shudder as the demon tried to get a grip on his emotions. They were too much, and he wasn't used to it. There was still this overwhelming joy but it was woven through with despair, the fear of losing the best that had ever happened to him, and loathing for himself.

As a demon he was powerful, able to achieve whatever he wanted. Only this time he wasn't. He could only change what he was to a degree, never completely. He would always stay a demon. If this wasn't enough, if he wasn't good enough, sooner or later the angel would see it. Then he'd leave him.

Terrorblade tried again to say the words, to tell Dragonus how fucking much he had missed him until it had hurt, but he wasn't able to. He wanted to scream in frustration, but that wouldn't help him in the least so he could as well behave civilized.

Dragonus didn't seem to care as he ran his hands up and down Terrorblade's back, stroking and petting, but it didn't calm the demon.

"What is wrong?" Astonishing, that Dragonus knew it, even though Terrorblade couldn't communicate it.

He growled. He wanted to tell him, but: "I can't say it."

For a second the hands on his back stilled, then they continued, the same as before, soothing. "You don't have to say it. You'll never have to. I know it, even if you can't say it." He pressed a kiss on the demon's temple, tender and soft. "I don't mind. I'm just glad you are here, that we are together now. I don't care about the things you can't do, you are wonderful the way you are."

The way he said it made Terrorblade relax a little. He sounded as if he meant it. As if he truly didn't mind all the things the demon couldn't give him. It wasn't only that he couldn't talk about his feelings. There were other things, too, but even then Dragonus had never complained. Still: "I want to change for you." He did, but it wasn't easy.

"Don't!" Dragonus moved away, just a little to be able to look at Terrorblade. He shook his head, his eyes serious now. "If you want to change, you can, of course, but don't do it for me! You should always only change for yourself." He cupped the demon's cheeks with both hands. "You are wonderful and I love you the way you are. I don't need you to change."

With a shudder Terrorblade hugged Dragonus. The words were there, on the tip of his tongue. It was no use to try and say them, so instead the demon kissed the angel and he showed him how fucking much he loved him. That he could do, put all the love he felt for the angel into his touches, into his kisses. When he saw Dragonus smile, he knew that the angel felt it. And maybe he was right and it truly was enough.


End file.
